Every night she spoke to me those perfect words that dripped like the sweetest nectar from those cherry lips. Her tongue would spin tales of fantasy that were like an invisible vapor that drugged me. Her eyes would burn into my soul seeing past the walls that I had built. Her gaze broke down each brick, cut through the mortar like a chisel.
I never had a chance against her pretty words.
I long to hear the soft whisper of her voice brushing across my cheek like gossamer wings. I close my eyes and I see the burning intensity that once were her eyes. I run my hands up my arms still remembering the shock of her touch. The sparks of her on me were enough to cause my skin to react. My eyes fly open and slowly the memory of her begins to drift away.
I never had a chance against her pretty words.
Aimlessly I walk through each tick tock of my own clock passing through the sun and moon. Floating across the clouds jumping over each star. I still long for her kiss. I long for the moment she would say "Miss you". I long for this specter of my dreams but she no longer exists in this world I travel in. I am simply one sail in the wind, no longer will I be a part of two.
I never had a chance against her pretty words.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Mindless Chatter Experiment
Currently I am sitting at my desk trying to come up with something witty and charming to say for my very first post, but nothing comes to mind. Could be that it's 1:30am, but that's not it since this is the normal time for me to be witty and charming. I have considered quite possibly that because what is really on my mind is of a much more personal nature that I do not wish to discuss openly for public viewing. Since that is the case then I must contend that I truly have nothing to really say that will be eye opening and as Oprah would say a "light bulb moment".
I have always been the aspiring writer who has dreams of a New York Times Best Seller with book signings in the future. I would love to be the first lesbian to blow the minds of the straight world and make all the doubters go "hmmmm". That may not be a to far off dream but chances are it could quite possibly be a goal I can reach. I have dreams of walking by the window of a bookstore and seeing my book proudly displayed. No hiding my book in the "sexuality" section because it's written by a lesbian (ahem Amazon ahem) or being only in the "local" section of a big named bookstore. I want it to be right up there with fuckin Jackie Collins!
Sometimes though I remember back to the days when I was a child and use to have a knack with watercolors and paint. Telling people that I wanted to be an artist when I grew up. I remember that at one point I saw the world in brilliant colors that were transparent but could create the most amazing pictures. Now I look at the world and the colors are bold and dark at times, yet I still want to paint the tragedies. I want portray the world as I see it but at times that I have tried my hand shakes and I can not bear to do it. That inner child wants to break out the watercolors and paint the brilliance I see even through the darkness.
I have gone through some major changes in my life and I am currently 31 and have absolutely no problem with my age. What I do have a problem with is that I am 31 and wishing terribly that I had so much more to show for this life I have lived. I have these wonderful friends and a family to surpass all lovable dysfunctional families that make my life well lived so far. I will admit that most days I find myself walking on eggshells afraid of some of the consequences of my actions, but then I realize.......Live Your Fuckin Life!
So here I am today, this early morning, saying to you and to the world............
I have always been the aspiring writer who has dreams of a New York Times Best Seller with book signings in the future. I would love to be the first lesbian to blow the minds of the straight world and make all the doubters go "hmmmm". That may not be a to far off dream but chances are it could quite possibly be a goal I can reach. I have dreams of walking by the window of a bookstore and seeing my book proudly displayed. No hiding my book in the "sexuality" section because it's written by a lesbian (ahem Amazon ahem) or being only in the "local" section of a big named bookstore. I want it to be right up there with fuckin Jackie Collins!
Sometimes though I remember back to the days when I was a child and use to have a knack with watercolors and paint. Telling people that I wanted to be an artist when I grew up. I remember that at one point I saw the world in brilliant colors that were transparent but could create the most amazing pictures. Now I look at the world and the colors are bold and dark at times, yet I still want to paint the tragedies. I want portray the world as I see it but at times that I have tried my hand shakes and I can not bear to do it. That inner child wants to break out the watercolors and paint the brilliance I see even through the darkness.
I have gone through some major changes in my life and I am currently 31 and have absolutely no problem with my age. What I do have a problem with is that I am 31 and wishing terribly that I had so much more to show for this life I have lived. I have these wonderful friends and a family to surpass all lovable dysfunctional families that make my life well lived so far. I will admit that most days I find myself walking on eggshells afraid of some of the consequences of my actions, but then I realize.......Live Your Fuckin Life!
So here I am today, this early morning, saying to you and to the world............
I am back! and back with a Vengeance!!!
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